AFL 2 years ago

Brave Olympic Criminal Minds

  • Brave Olympic Criminal Minds

Another game against a top eight rival, and another solid if unspectacular win. After dispensing with Crows in fine style, we came up against a Western Bulldogs side beset with injuries. They’ve had a ruff time of it those Doggies, they mastiff walked under a ladder with a black cat under each arm. Let’s just paws and go through them: Murphy, Redpath, Wallis, Adams, Boyd, Morris, and during the game Liberatore and Macrae. It shih tzu when you get one injury, but with all these I’d be surprised if it didn’t drive Luke Beveridge barking mad.

That said, the 18 players the Bulldogs put out on the park had a real crack and made the Cats work hard for the win. The only real down side from that is every football commentator telling us over and over how brave they were. I mean seriously, do none of these guys own a thesaurus? What’s wrong with gallant? Courageous? Or even gritty, plucky or spunky? And considering that this week the Bombers will still be without the Essendon 12, I’m sure we will no doubt be told how brave they are too. If of course they don’t fill up their side with players from the Moonee Ponds under 12’s.

But we don’t have to watch football this weekend, that quadrennial sporting feast known as the Olympics has rolled around, once again giving us all the opportunity to be armchair experts in sports we know nothing about. “His tuck wasn’t tight enough and there was too much splash, I’ll give it a 6.5.”

Our Aussies are tipped to do quite well, provided they can avoid the muggers, the floating bodies and Kitty Chiller. Experts predict that our gold tally should be somewhere around 20, although I think that some of their forecasting may be a little off. They say that Cameron McEvoy is a huge chance in the 100m. But his best time (PB for those in the know) is 47.04 seconds. I cannot see how this is going to compete with the 9.69 of Usain Bolt.

Without trying to sound like a plot from Criminal Minds, there are sure to be millions of eyes glued to screens over the next couple of weeks, mine included. But truth be known, I shall be waiting with bated breath for the 2020 games in Tokyo, for then we will really be able to witness the agony of defeat when someone comes a cropper in the Olympic rock climbing.

And who knows, perhaps even Olympic Pokemon hunting in 2024.

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